Paula Deen and Olympic Dreams

My domesticity levels went through the roof last night, and boy was my kitchen not prepared for it.

As I am still the newbie at the office, I decided to do some good old-fashioned sucking up to my co-workers around the holiday season. Last night, this brown-nosing materialized into making each of my co-workers a mini gingerbread loaf for Christmas.

Never having made gingerbread before, I had no idea that I would be working with molasses. I'm sure to some of you baking professionals, this ingredient may seem like child's play. I, however, would call myself more of a baking amateur.

The baking process began harmlessly enough. Added some sugar, a dash of baking soda...all in all, I'm doing an outstanding job of mixing together the dry ingredients. In fact, I was even thinking I should keep my amateur status title in case baking ever becomes an Olympic sport and my country needs me. My confidence was palpable as I was thinking in my head "Oh Paula Deen, you're such a sucker, anyone can do this!I should have my own cooking show." (For those of you who may not know, Paula Deen has a cooking show on the Food Network titled "Paula's Home Cooking." On her show, each and every one of her recipes, which she recites in the warmest Southern drawl you'll ever hear, include at least 2 sticks of butter, a cup of lard, and a shot of rum.



Then...came the molasses. Word to the wise: Do not spill a lot of this little bitch of an ingredient on your stove and/or floor and/or in your hair. The slow-moving sugar, which I accidentally knocked over with the cap off, proceeded to spill onto a counter with sugar/ground ginger/cinnamon and flour droppings on it. The molasses then acted as a glue-type agent, creating a paste of sorts that stuck to everything. Then, don't ask me why I did this, but I brushed my hair out of my face with my molasses covered hands. GREAT. My hair had been compromised in this molasses attack and I could take no prisoners! After my brief moment of panic that I would end up with a pixie haircut, I went into problem-solving mode until most of it was cleaned up and the evidence was gone (from the kitchen and the hair). I didn't want my roommate to know that I had made a huge mess of the kitchen and also possibly gotten my molasses paste concoction in the crevices of the stove plates.

Needless to say, my dream of a potential Olympic baking medal was crushed and I was this close to having to cut a chunk of hair out, but the gingerbread loaves turned out pretty well! Feast your eyes on these little beauties.





Learn more about Paula Deen by clicking here: www.foodnetwork.com/paulas-home-cooking/index.html.